What Coaches and Mentors Can Learn from Influence
Assuming that a mentee follows advice purely because the advice is sound is the specific trap Influence names; in reality, people rely on automatic mental shortcuts far more than careful analysis, and understanding those shortcuts is here to help you guide honestly and help your mentee recognize manipulation, not to pressure anyone into a decision they wouldn't otherwise make.
The whole book, compressed
This edition works through 4 core lessons — take them one at a time, not all at once.
What's different for your conditions
Tap whichever ones sound like you. Nothing here is sent or saved — it's just for your own noticing.
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The core lessons, applied to you
Give something genuine first
Mentees feel a natural pull to return a favor, so genuinely investing time and attention before asking for real effort builds goodwill that advice alone never can.
A mentor asks for serious commitment from a mentee they haven't genuinely invested time in, and the request lands as an imposition rather than a reasonable ask.
Identify one piece of real, individual attention you could give your mentee before asking them for real effort.
Earn a small, honest first commitment before asking for more
Mentees tend to act consistently with commitments they've already made, so a small, genuine first agreement makes a bigger change feel like a natural next step rather than a leap.
A mentor pushes for a big change right away, and a mentee who might have accepted it gradually resists the sudden scale of the ask.
Identify one small, honest first step your mentee could agree to that would make a bigger change feel like a natural continuation.
Build real evidence, real expertise, and real rapport
Mentees take cues from what peers are actually doing, from mentors they find genuinely credible, and from mentors they genuinely like, so showing real examples, real expertise, and genuine rapport all carry more weight than advice alone.
A mentor insists on an approach purely by authority with no real evidence it's worked for others, and a skeptical mentee, unsure it will actually help, quietly disengages.
Identify one piece of genuine evidence or real rapport you could bring into how you give advice, instead of relying on your position alone.
Be honest about genuine urgency, never manufacture false deadlines
Mentees respond more to things that feel genuinely time-sensitive, but honesty about real deadlines protects your credibility with them in a way manufactured urgency never can.
Addressing today's question and building a mentee's trust for the long run aren't opposites — advice built on genuine investment, real evidence, and honest urgency answers today's question just as well and keeps working over time too.
Name one thing, honestly
Is there advice you give often that leans on authority or urgency claims that aren't fully genuine?
Good. Now look back at the "Try this" line under whichever lesson feels most connected to what you just wrote, and treat that as this week's actual assignment — not all 4 at once.
The practices from this edition
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Run this for seven days
Identify one piece of genuine evidence or real rapport you could bring into how you give advice, instead of relying on your position alone.