What Coaches/Mentors Can Learn from The 36-Hour Day
Coach Reyes had mentored the same youth swim team for six years, and one of his strongest swimmers, Malik, had suddenly started arriving late and swimming noticeably slower, ignoring drills he used to nail easily. Reyes decided Malik had lost his drive and benched him for a meet to make a point, expecting the consequence to reignite his focus. Malik withdrew further and nearly quit the team altogether. It came out weeks later, in an offhand comment from Malik's older sister, that their household had been in upheaval since their parents' separation, and mornings had become chaotic. Reyes had punished a symptom of something happening far from the pool, and had come close to losing a swimmer who needed steadier footing, not a bench. Once Reyes adjusted practice times and checked in privately instead of publicly, Malik's form came back within a month.
The whole book, compressed
This edition works through 4 core lessons — take them one at a time, not all at once.
What's different for your conditions
Tap whichever ones sound like you. Nothing here is sent or saved — it's just for your own noticing.
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The core lessons, applied to you
Look underneath the dip before you name it
A drop in effort, sudden lateness, or resistance to feedback from someone you mentor is rarely just about motivation. It's more often tied to something outside your sessions together: stress at home, a confidence hit, a physical issue, or simple overload. Naming it as a character problem forecloses the conversation that would actually help.
A coach assumes a formerly dedicated mentee has "lost interest" and pulls back their own investment right when more support was actually needed.
The next time someone's effort or attitude shifts noticeably, ask one direct, private question about what's changed before addressing the performance itself.
Adjust the structure you're asking them to work within
Once you understand what's actually going on, the fix is often a change to the structure: a lighter schedule for a stretch, a different kind of feedback, smaller goals broken into steps. Holding someone to an unchanged standard while their circumstances have changed sets them up to keep failing in the same way.
A mentor keeps assigning the same intensive workload through an obviously hard season, expecting willpower alone to close the gap.
When you notice someone struggling under current expectations, adjust one specific part of the structure, not just your encouragement.
Trade the lecture for a short, steady message
A discouraged or overwhelmed person absorbs very little from an extended pep talk or a detailed breakdown of what they're doing wrong. A short, calm, specific message, delivered without frustration, reaches someone in a hard moment far better than a well-reasoned case for trying harder.
A coach responds to a slipping performance with a long postmortem conversation, and the mentee leaves more discouraged than before.
The next time you need to address a setback, open with one short, calm sentence and let the conversation grow from there rather than starting with a full breakdown.
Your own steadiness is what makes mentoring sustainable
Mentoring and coaching draw on emotional reserves that are easy to overspend, especially when you care deeply about the people you're guiding. A depleted mentor loses patience faster and reads ambiguous behavior more harshly. Protecting your own rest, support, and limits keeps you able to show up with the steadiness your role depends on, over years, not just this season.
Understanding what's really going on with someone takes time, while competitions, deadlines, or performance windows demand an immediate response. The practical resolution is to make the in-the-moment response neutral and calm rather than corrective, and save the real conversation about causes and adjustments for a private moment once the pressure has passed.
Name one thing, honestly
Whose recent dip in effort or focus have you responded to without ever asking what changed in their life outside your sessions together?
Good. Now look back at the "Try this" line under whichever lesson feels most connected to what you just wrote, and treat that as this week's actual assignment — not all 4 at once.
The practices from this edition
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Run this for seven days
The next time you need to address a setback, open with one short, calm sentence and let the conversation grow from there rather than starting with a full breakdown.