What Coaches/Mentors Can Learn from Taking Charge of Adult ADHD
Renata had a mentee, bright, motivated, full of good intentions in every session, who left each meeting with a clear action plan and returned two weeks later having done almost none of it. She initially assumed he wasn't serious, but he clearly was; he could describe exactly what he'd meant to do and why it mattered, in detail suggesting real investment. What was missing wasn't commitment in the room, it was something between sessions that would have carried the plan forward. Renata realized her job wasn't finished when a good plan got made. If the plan couldn't survive an ordinary week, the coaching needed a different shape, built around what happens after the conversation ends, not just what gets decided inside it.
The whole book, compressed
This edition works through 4 core lessons — take them one at a time, not all at once.
What's different for your conditions
Tap whichever ones sound like you. Nothing here is sent or saved — it's just for your own noticing.
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The core lessons, applied to you
Why a good plan doesn't survive the week
A plan made in a session represents an intention, and executive function is what would carry that intention across days of ordinary life until it becomes action. When a client repeatedly fails to follow through despite clear commitment in the room, the gap usually isn't motivation, it's the missing bridge between the session's clarity and the client's Tuesday afternoon. Recognizing this shifts a coach's job from generating better plans to helping build the bridge that gets plans executed.
Coaches interpret repeated unmet commitments as a motivation or readiness problem and respond by pushing harder on buy-in rather than examining the structure around the plan.
End every session by asking not just what the client will do, but exactly where and how they'll be reminded to do it before the next session.
Building the bridge between sessions
Since a coach has limited visibility between meetings, the plan itself needs to carry its own reminders and checkpoints rather than depending on the client's memory alone. That might mean a shared written plan with specific dates, a mid-week check-in text, or breaking a goal into the smallest possible first step scheduled for a specific day, so the structure does work the coach can't do remotely.
The action plan stays abstract, "work on the proposal this week", with no specific day, time, or trigger attached to it.
Require every action item to include a named day and a named cue, "Tuesday morning, right after coffee", before the session ends.
When unmet commitments strain the relationship
A pattern of unmet action items can quietly erode a coach's confidence in the client, and a client's own shame about repeated misses can make them less honest in session, creating a spiral where the coaching relationship itself starts absorbing stress it isn't built to hold.
The coach frames the unmet commitment as a character issue in a way that increases the client's shame rather than illuminating the structural gap.
When a plan wasn't followed, ask what specifically got in the way that week before asking what the client will do differently.
Coaching as an ongoing structural partnership
The most effective coaching relationships treat structure-building as a continuous, evolving part of the work, not a one-time exercise in the first few sessions. As a client's circumstances shift, the specific systems that support their follow-through need periodic revisiting, and a coach who keeps checking whether the scaffolding still fits the current situation offers something more durable than motivational conversation alone.
Focusing heavily on rigid external structure can crowd out the relational trust-building a client needs to feel safe admitting what actually happened during an off week; hold both by treating structural check-ins and honest, non-judgmental conversation as two parts of the same practice, not competing priorities.
Name one thing, honestly
Which client's unmet commitments have you read as a motivation problem that might actually be a missing structural bridge?
Good. Now look back at the "Try this" line under whichever lesson feels most connected to what you just wrote, and treat that as this week's actual assignment — not all 4 at once.
The practices from this edition
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Run this for seven days
When a plan wasn't followed, ask what specifically got in the way that week before asking what the client will do differently.