What Coaches/Mentors Can Learn from Being Mortal
Coach Nnamdi had trained Yusuf for the same regional title for three seasons straight, adjusting the training plan every year without ever asking whether Yusuf still wanted it as badly as he once had. Yusuf had mentioned, in passing, that he had started dreading practice, but Nnamdi read it as normal fatigue and pushed the mileage up anyway, certain he knew what was best for an athlete he genuinely cared about. It was not until Yusuf sat out an entire month with an overuse injury that the two of them finally had the conversation Nnamdi should have started years earlier: what did Yusuf actually want from the sport now, the title, or just to enjoy running again. Yusuf admitted he had wanted to talk about it for a year but had not known how to say it without disappointing a coach who had invested so much in him.
The whole book, compressed
This edition works through 4 core lessons — take them one at a time, not all at once.
What's different for your conditions
Tap whichever ones sound like you. Nothing here is sent or saved — it's just for your own noticing.
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The core lessons, applied to you
Ask what they actually want before the plateau or injury does
It is easy to keep running the same training or development plan because it worked before, without checking whether the person you are coaching still wants what they wanted a year ago. A direct, low-stakes conversation about their current goals and doubts, held before frustration or injury forces it, usually surfaces something worth adjusting.
A coach keeps pushing the same plan on an athlete or mentee who has quietly stopped wanting the same outcome, until burnout or an injury forces a conversation that should have happened much earlier.
Ask the person you coach, directly and soon, whether the goal you are both working toward is still the one they want.
Pushing for peak performance can cost someone their love of the game
Pushing someone toward peak performance, more reps, more hours, more intensity, can come at the cost of the enjoyment, confidence, or health that made them want to do this in the first place. Naming that tradeoff honestly, rather than assuming more effort is always the answer, respects both the goal and the person pursuing it.
A coach treats every sign of hesitation as a lack of commitment to push through, instead of a signal worth exploring together.
The next time you are tempted to push harder, ask instead what would make this sustainable for the person you are coaching, not just faster.
Coach the whole person, not just the scoreboard
Someone's growth under your coaching is shaped by more than their measurable results. Their confidence, their relationships with teammates, their life outside the activity, all affect how they perform and how long they stay engaged. Coaching only the scoreboard misses the conditions that actually produce it.
A coach focuses entirely on statistics or output and never asks how the person is doing outside the specific skill being trained, missing a struggle that is driving the decline.
Ask one open question about their life outside the activity in your next session together.
Build the plan together, season after season
The best coaching relationships treat the plan, the goals, the pace, as something built together and revisited regularly, not handed down once and defended regardless of how the person is actually doing. A coach who checks in honestly at each stage builds a relationship people trust enough to be honest back.
Respecting what someone says they want can conflict with your professional judgment about what will actually help them improve. Resolve this by treating your expertise as one input among several rather than the final word: explain your reasoning honestly, listen to their response, and look for a version of the plan both of you can actually stand behind.
Name one thing, honestly
What has the person you coach or mentor told you they want, that you have not fully taken seriously yet?
Good. Now look back at the "Try this" line under whichever lesson feels most connected to what you just wrote, and treat that as this week's actual assignment — not all 4 at once.
The practices from this edition
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Run this for seven days
Ask one open question about their life outside the activity in your next session together.