What Entrepreneurs Can Learn from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk
Jumping straight to a fix or an order the moment a co-founder or employee is upset is the specific trap this book names; dismissing or rushing past what someone is actually feeling almost always makes them dig in rather than engage with the actual problem.
The whole book, compressed
This edition works through 3 core lessons — take them one at a time, not all at once.
What's different for your conditions
Tap whichever ones sound like you. Nothing here is sent or saved — it's just for your own noticing.
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The core lessons, applied to you
Acknowledge the feeling before trying to fix or dismiss it
Naming what someone actually seems to be feeling, before jumping to a solution, is what makes them willing to actually hear the solution.
A founder tells a stressed co-founder "just don't worry about it" before acknowledging that the deadline pressure is real, and the co-founder feels unheard rather than reassured.
The next time a co-founder or employee is upset, name what you think they're feeling out loud before offering any advice or fix.
Engage cooperation instead of issuing an order
Describing the actual problem, rather than issuing a direct order, gives someone the chance to solve it themselves and actually own the outcome.
A founder tells an employee "redo this now" rather than describing what's actually wrong with the current version, and the employee redoes it with the same underlying mistake.
The next time you're about to give a direct order, describe the problem instead and see what solution the other person comes up with.
Offer autonomy through a real choice within a limit
Letting a co-founder or employee choose between two acceptable paths, rather than dictating the one you have in mind, tends to produce more real buy-in.
Moving fast and giving people real autonomy aren't opposites — a team that's used to being handed real choices moves faster on their own, not slower.
Name one thing, honestly
Is there a recent moment where you jumped to a fix or an order before actually acknowledging what a co-founder or employee was feeling?
Good. Now look back at the "Try this" line under whichever lesson feels most connected to what you just wrote, and treat that as this week's actual assignment — not all 3 at once.
The practices from this edition
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Run this for seven days
The next time you're about to give a direct order, describe the problem instead and see what solution the other person comes up with.